Have a Laugh: Floss Your Form From Fat to Fab
Sending all skinny dentists to heaven
Move aside Keto, Paleo, and Polio (minus the Polio). Step off that throne, Atkins, Dukan, and Jenny Craig. And change addresses, Mediterranean and South Beach! There’s a new diet in town, “flossing,” and let me introduce you before it takes over all 2022 influencer accounts and floss becomes as scarce as toilet paper in March, 2020.
So, yeah, floss was once thought of as strictly a dental hygiene tool (in addition to a carnival candy). But, it is now also being used as a belt around your shrinking waistline as you learn what all the flossing fuss is about.
It is the REM of dream diets. It is a diet that you can eat whatever food group you fancy. It is a diet that instead of counting macros, you count teeth. And, the end result will leave you as slim as a stick of Dentyne.
You won’t need to invest the big bucks in expensive subscriptions, sketchy prescriptions, or fancy equipment. But you do need to spare 3 flossy minutes of your day.
It’s a simple concept:
Step 1: Eat dinner
Step 2: Have dessert
Step 3: Floss your whities (not to be confused with the 'tightie' type)
Step 4: Brush those bad boys
Step 5: Relish in your squeaky clean teeth and don’t you dare eat again until morning
If you feel like you need backup to bust up that build-up, don’t hold back. Rev up that waterpick like it’s no one else’s business- except maybe your dental hygienist’s.
A nutritionist and a dentist walk into a bar….floss it, fuckers!
So, there it is. Keep away the FOMO, and floss your way to fitness. Make the move from “intermittent fasting” to “intermittent flossing.” From “boss bitch” to “floss bitch”.
And don’t let your back teeth get left behind.
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